The “Unknown” is Truly The Unknown- The Truth About Postpartum
Okay… so the truth is… having a baby was a lot different to what I expected… I mean who “really” knows what it’s like to be a mother? To be pregnant, give birth and then be responsible for an entire little person? THE UNKNOWN is truly the unknown.
Sure people can “warn” you and share their stories with you… but it isn’t the same as actually living it… and still doesn’t seem to sink in that this shit is real!
– Cluster feeding (find out more here)
– Sleep deprivation
– Breastfeeding challenges
You don’t really understand just how hard they can be until you are in the thick of it… and then…and only then does that little light bulb flick on and you wish you had support!
So when I was pregnant, of course, I had gone out and sorted out the ” important things” — That’s what you do right?
* Baby Name
* Car seat
* Blankets/ baby gear
* Bottles – just in case right
* Baby Swing
* Toys (coz a newborn needs those when it’s first born
— and the list just goes on and on and on…
Did I stop to actually think what plans I had to get me through the postpartum part? Had I even stopped to consider what I could experience? Nope, I actually had ZERO clues…I ended up having an unplanned C-section which meant I couldn’t drive for 6 weeks… my husband went back to work 3 days after birth… WTF!!!
I had sciatica (so I couldn’t walk for about 4 weeks unassisted — yep I rolled my ass around the house pushing the bassinet to take the baby with me… I cried ALOT… I cried because the sciatic pain was excruciating… I was on about a million different drugs for the C-section… My boobs were bleeding and bloodied (due to an undiagnosed tie).
I bled for about 6 weeks (that’s heaps of fun) … Your body is absolutely depleted of any nutrients it needs from making a baby….and… you expect all your friends and family to pop round and visit and then you get radio silence.
I was stuck at home with hardly any visitors — when they did visit they usually just want a cuddle with the baby and then off they go again — after giving LOTS of unwelcome advice, which wasn’t helpful in my hormonal and vulnerable state– and then I started to experience isolation. I remember feeling so much love and happiness for my gorgeous baby girl and so much sadness and resentment for friends and family in my life who didn’t support me the way I needed support.
I didn’t even really ask for much help and I think at time’s I rejected help because I was programmed to do this on my own… because it was my sole responsibility…and I was THE mother… I made this choice right… I was fragile… dealing with guilt from my birth…and all I wanted and needed was love and support… just someone who would give them their time…I didn’t even know what was wrong at the time…but I felt so alone. — Where was MY village?
I had a few different health nurses come and visit which was awesome– but I didn’t know who they were and each one had different advice and different personalities (some were really relaxed and others were manic). Cue overwhelm… too much information — what to do… what to do…? Plus they really only focused on the baby which caused more stress as it was all about the babies weight gain… I was documenting feeds, wet nappies, sleep times — I was STRESSED OUT!
I wish… I absolutely wish I had someone experienced in my postpartum who I knew… who got it… who was empathetic, kind and caring… who could help out with some housework, tell me I’m doing a great job, take time to guide me how to breastfeed, feed me nourishing foods to support my body post birth and pregnancy and help with breastfeeding…It would have really set me up for a wonderful foundation through motherhood. Having someone who is behind you 100% who supports you is just so invaluable…
Which is why I support women as a Postpartum Doula to help them have a Peaceful Postpartum. I believe in mothering the mother… and I believe in the wisdom of the mother. All mothers hold the key and know best for their babies, they just need the love and support they deserve.
If you want to have a glorious postpartum period… and you are based from Brisbane to Gold Coast (or know someone who needs deserves support) contact me to see how I can assist you, mama! – I run regular Workshops- How to Have a Peaceful Postpartum and I would love to see you there. Find out more HERE!
We simply need to change this culture… You are deserving… You are enough…and you have got this!