Pregnancy and motherhood is one of those times that people love to tell you what to do…
Almost in a very overwhelming way as well – every single person loves to comment, give an opinion or tell you what to do…
They are being helpful, thoughtful, kind and considerate (most of the time) even when it feels suffocating, cruel or mean.
Maybe they make comments about your size… or lack of size which makes you think there is something wrong with you… maybe people comment “are you sure it’s not twins”?
I remember even before I was pregnant with my first an old boss telling me what I should do with my future children’s births .
She said you know you don’t need to be a hero – you don’t get a medal just get the epidural!
(I didn’t like her opinion or even appreciate it at the time – but I couldn’t judge I’d never been in labour).
And when it came to schooling she said I had to put my kids into Private school …
P.S at the time I was earning about $45,000 a year and her husband was a CEO of a company and she was on at least double what I was on… so yeah easy to say, lady!!
No one rule fits all – but thanks for being so heavy-handed about your personal opinion).
Growing into your confidence
As I expanded and grew into my own with experience and confidence I started to realise that I’m the fucking boss of my own life….not the Dr’s, not the Midwives, not my friends, or family and guess what?
I have to live my life as well! I have to live with consequences of my choices… while it seemed so much easier to give my power away sometimes and let medical staff take the reins the aftermath wasn’t easy.
I felt like a failure like I didn’t try enough – know enough, wasn’t enough. I didn’t like the choice they made for me, because if I had all the knowledge I would have made a very different one.
I fought really hard in my second pregnancy but again I didn’t know enough and I was still scared… I trusted in the system and the people in it to “protect me”.
No one can protect you but yourself!
No one can protect you but YOURSELF.
The people who work in the system are not bad people but they have rules they have to follow…
Rules that could cost them their job, rules that IF they do not follow they could lose insurance coverage, their homes and reputation – that’s the truth!
So guess what…. most of the time those people are going to put them self first over you… (how can you expect them not to right?)
And how can you trust someone who has their own best intentions ahead of your own?
Sure there would be wonderful health care providers out there – but from the sound of what I’ve heard out there, the good ones are getting chewed up and spit out and chased around with pitchforks for not falling into line.
You may be okay with that.. and sure there are absolutely times when we need to trust those people to make the right calls for us (like life-threatening or emergency situations)
You are not a patient!
But I don’t believe as a pregnant woman you are a patient (sure you have patience having to wait for about an hour for your appointment) but you are not sick – you are pregnant, your body is amazing and beautiful.
Sure sometimes shit comes up and you need support and help – cue help and support… but most of the time it’s unhelpful, dangerous and causing more problems than if we left it well alone.
Like a pimple don’t pop it (as it can make it worse and leave scars) this is the same – just jump in when you truly need to (not before).
How can you make your own choices?
So what if you are a woman who wants to make her own choices? Wants to be educated and informed and walk a line of confidence in herself?
Work on your mindset, practice daily rituals around grounding yourself and connecting with your inner self, create a circle of support, be your biggest advocate, trust in yourself, block out the noise, feed your soul and body nourishing foods and thoughts…
Absolutely invest in yourself with someone you trust and know can hold space for you to expand and journey with you.
Want to work with me? Comment below or email me email@example.com and let’s chat about how I can support you in one of my programs or one-on-one support!