I found peace last year through making radical choices that felt aligned for me and my family.

I surrendered and worked through fear and came out the other side feeling free and peaceful.

It’s a great gift to feel at peace with the world and yourself and this has been a journey that I’ve been on since becoming a mother.

This could never be more true than on the journey through Motherhood.

As we find our feet we look to society around us to tell us what is right or wrong and fitting in to be the best mother we can be.

It’s a confusing journey – with people constantly telling us what we are doing right or wrong.

 

WELCOMING MY WORD FOR THE YEAR PEACE!

1.     Peace

This year my word for the year is PEACE – Peace in all it’s forms.

Last year was Surrender – and I think that surrendering is one of the best ways to reach peace.

Here is the dictionary definition for peace:

1. freedom from disturbance; tranquillity.
2. a state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended

Last year I had to surrender to the process of pregnancy and birth outside of the system.

And while many may find freebirthing a really radical choice (I know I was afraid for so long and had to work through a huge amount of fear to take radical responsibility for myself and baby).

What came along with me surrendering and doing what I felt was the safest for us both was PEACE.

I have spent most of my life “at war” with myself, with my family, with society, the world… but mostly myself.

Because I’m a people pleaser I like to fit in with the world around me.

I like being praised for doing a good job and to be seen as living a life that we should be living in this society.

Part of my recent journey has shown me that it’s okay to live a life that is different to the world around me or the majority around me.

That there is no right or wrong path – and that we must all make our path for what is right for us and our families.

2.  Discovering what works best for you

It’s often quite confusing trying to navigate the world of motherhood.

To try and understand which advice you must take, and often that advice comes across strong and often as fact.

Here are some statements that you may hear in motherhood, or maybe you have already heard them.

  • Breastfeeding is best for baby and you should breastfeed
  • You are making a rod for your own back
  • You should make your baby, baby food & never feed store-bought food
  • Homebirth isn’t safe
  • You can’t have a vaginal birth after c-section
  • Your baby should be sleeping in their own cot
  • You shouldn’t breastfeed after 6 months as that is disgusting
  • Children shouldn’t be co-sleeping with you – they should have their own room

These are opinions and not fact.

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3.    Opinion v’s Fact

Often they are told as if they are fact from usually well-meaning people who should more than likely be minding their own business and not trying to take over your journey.

People can’t help themselves you see.

They think that because something worked for them and their baby it must work for you and your baby.

But what they are not taking into account is that you are a completely different person to them with a different temperament, support system, history, likes & dislikes and of course a baby who is different to their baby.

I’ve had three babies now so I can tell you from experience while my babies have similarities, they are all very different.

We need at some point in time to find the strength to make our own choices that feel right.

That could be as little as getting a second opinion when you don’t feel like the advice you have been given isn’t aligned.

4.   Setting boundaries & making choices that are aligned to you

My personal pet hate is waking a sleeping baby.

I hate waking sleeping babies and will only do this in the rare occasion.

My first baby needed her sleep and if I missed her cue to fall asleep or didn’t get her nap she would scream for HOURS and HOURS.

Which of course was very upsetting for me as I held my crying baby and couldn’t get her back to sleep.

HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF BOUNDARY SETTING:

Setting clear boundaries with those in your life who think it’s okay to wake a sleeping baby.

Let them know it’s not okay, this is your baby and you know your baby the best and what they need.

I found often people would constantly tell me “It’s okay to wake a sleeping baby” when they wanted a cuddle.

Often they struggled to accept my request and were not respectful of some of the boundaries that I was putting in place that were best for my baby.

It was a struggle having to have conversations with people and be told that they did things differently and that worked for them.

It made me questions myself and doubt my abilities in knowing what was best for my baby. 

Especially since I didn’t have concrete proof or evidence.

I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone though. 

I needed to stand firm and believe in what I was requesting was satisfactory and was one of my boundaries.

And what I needed for my baby and me to have a calm & peaceful experience.

On the other hand, my second baby could go through the day and miss a sleep and not have any troubles at all.

This is a prime example of DIFFERENT BABIES – DIFFERENT RULES!!

So stick to your guns you know your baby best.

Find your peace

Making choices that you feel are right for you and your family will help you find more peace in your life.

Maybe not at first, but eventually when you stop caring so much what others think and feel about you and what you do, you will find peace.

Let me know if you have any questions about your word for the year or living your life to alignment.

Want some support during your pregnancy or motherhood journey?  Unsure of what support you may need? 

Book in a complimentary discovery call with me so I can learn more about you, and you can learn more about how I can support you to find your calm, confidence & connection.

Ashley Winning - The Motherhood Circle
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