Motherhood has transformed my life…in a surprising way!
Hi, fellow Mums.
My name is Angie, I’m 30 (omg) and Mum to 1 beautiful princess. I am so excited to have been invited to do this blog!
I want to start my story by sharing a quote that I live my life by; ‘There are two kinds of people. Those who think I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did. And those who think, I suffered; why shouldn’t they.
Becoming a mother has made me want to be a better person. But to demonstrate I want to explain how I have ‘suffered’ as a Mum.
Starting with pregnancy, I had morning sickness for 7 months, SEVEN! And on that note, who the heck named it morning sickness, more like 24/7 torture through vomit and gagging. Very early on, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic haemorrhage, which caused bleeding and I was basically told nature would take its course (doctors words not mine). I was taunted about my weight by medical professionals and acquaintances. I didn’t have anyone to share my experiences with.
I developed prenatal depression and anxiety. Quite frankly, pregnancy wasn’t that pretty picture I expected it to be.
When I gave birth. My birth was traumatic, to say the least, and to this day, 16 months later, I have a book about overcoming birth trauma still staring at me from the bookshelf, that I can’t face just yet. To say I was failed by medical staff is an understatement, but to fully explain my experience would require words not appropriate for a Mummy blog. My husband and I began to fight, a lot. My daughter did not sleep and by 5 months of age, I was waking every 45-60 minutes, all night, every night, to a screaming baby. She was a very unhappy, unsettled baby. I felt like a failure, I was a mess and felt all the pressure from outside influences that many Mums experience. My depression deepened. On my darkest days, I wondered if my daughter would be better off without me.
This is where I get to ‘I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did’. For any Mum reading this who is suffering, who feels not good enough, who is depressed and doesn’t know how to fix it. I want to show you that the place you are in now is not forever. There is a positive to find in every situation. Even when it’s the hardest things you’ve ever experienced. Prior to becoming a mother, I was always a lost soul. I never knew who or what I wanted to be. I was hard, unemotional and hated myself. Motherhood has given me clarity, guidance and a purpose.
Motherhood has transformed me into a kind, empathetic soul, who wants to work with Mums to stop them from suffering. It’s made me able to identify with the Mums I help and feel nothing but empathy towards them. Something I wouldn’t have, had I not experienced the above, let alone find a job I like!
It’s made me want to make friends, and make sure NO other mother or mother to be I meet, ever experience what I did. I would be there 24/7 no questions asked for someone I barely know to make sure they did not suffer.
Prior to motherhood, I always used to wonder why I was so insignificant. Wonder why no-one has ever actually been interested in me as a person. Wondered why people in my physical life (not social media life), never really wanted to know how I am or things that were going on for me. To be frank, I felt like a doormat. I used to think I was that annoying, crappy friend that everyone hated but felt obliged to invite. Motherhood has given me the ability to recognise that I am a nice person and a very giving and devoted person. It makes me feel good, that I treat people well, regardless of how they treat me. That I try to spread more positivity, love and light.
I am also a lot more comfortable and connected with who I am. I’ve always had a deep ‘hippy’ part of me. I’m finally not worried about what people think and let them see my hippy ways!
Not only do I not want other mothers to have terrible experiences, but I have a daughter, someone who is forcing me to be a better person, so I can make sure she never suffers how I have. The only way to do this is to lead by example. I’m forced to accept myself. I’m forced to be more confident. I’m forced to stand up for myself and stop being a people pleaser that allows others to bring me down.
But most of all, becoming a mother has allowed me to learn more about love and joy than I could have ever imagined. Watching a beautiful little human, that I made, grow, learn, laugh and cry. My words escape me on how to even describe it. I’m so grateful for motherhood. For giving me a purpose. For giving me a reason to live, to fight and to grow. Without it, I would still be the sad, lost soul I used to be. And for that reason, I’d climb straight back into that deep dark hole I was in, just for this experience 1 million times over.
My point to this being, had I not experienced what I have, I wouldn’t have grown as a person. If you’re a Mum suffering, struggling, feeling inadequate, depressed or anything else negative at all. Please know, your experience won’t last forever. Something positive can come from the negative. The hard times won’t last forever. I’m living proof xx
Angie is a wife and mother of 1 princess named Amalia. She believes becoming a mother was the best thing she has ever done. Angie is making it her life mission to work with Mothers and help them through the challenges that parenthood presents. Angie feels strongly about the link between lack of sleep and struggles mothers often experience during parenthood. She has recently qualified as a Baby and Infant Sleep Consultant and is extremely passionate about helping as many parents as possible. Outside of her life’s work, Angie is passionate about holistic therapy, spirituality, learning, studying and most of all, being a present Mum.