Are you pregnant and maybe have some interesting Motherhood Expectations?
Many new mothers have expectations of what motherhood will be like for them. But it’s hard to really know until you are in the situation.
Often being unprepared can leave new mothers feeling isolated, overwhelmed and lonely.
In this video with Antonia from Peaceful Postnatal and I will talk about the survey that was completed by over 130 Australian Mothers who did not receive the support that they were hoping for.
Below is a summary of what we discussed in the interview – but you can check out the whole video right here.
From Real Mothers who did not receive Support
I surveyed over 130 real-life Australian Mother’s and asked only those who did not receive support to respond.
- I was amazed at the number of responses I received and how quickly they came in. It spoke volumes to me that women want to talk about their postpartum and share what really happened to them.
- Often, there just isn’t space for women to be vulnerable to share their story – without judgement or people trying to “save” them from their feelings which can leave a new mother feeling like her feelings are invalid.
- This survey gave space for mothers to share their lack of support – whether it was physical or emotional.
Who were the Mothers expecting to receive support from?
- Mother- in law
What did Mothers think they needed before their baby was born?
Many mothers responded that they thought they would need plenty of practical and hands-on help – to hold the baby while they showered or had a nap, or to clean around the home, prepare meals etc.
Some went on to explain that they thought they would need a friend to support them through their transition to motherhood.
What Support Did they Actually Need?
I also asked what sort of support they actually needed and could have used mostly when their baby was born. While many still said physical and practice support there was an overwhelming number of mothers who responded that they needed emotional support.
- Someone to talk to – who would listen to them without judgement – hold space
- Support with recovery and breastfeeding
- Compassion and empathy
- Reassurance – tell them that they are doing a great job
- Someone to look after them, care for them while they cared for their baby.
How can you find the Support you will need?
- Have conversations with those in your support circle and let them know your expectations – ask them to tell you how they see themselves supporting you.
- Be realistic – Don’t expect your mum to be around every day if she is working a full-time job and lives an hour away. Maybe seeing her a couple times a week would be more realistic. But you won’t know until you have these conversations.
- Be specific – write down a list of people in your circle and what they are good at. Maybe they are a great listener and make you laugh. Maybe they are a good cook and you could ask them to bring around a few meals.
- Build your Village or support