Planning your freebirth should be an exciting and enjoyable experience.   

You are planning to birth where you feel safe, calm and supported!  

So, inviting someone into your freebirth space should be a positive and fun experience too!  

But for many, it can become a very stressful and upsetting experience.   

Especially for highly sensitive souls who want to please those in their circle that they love. 

Let’s dig deep into 3 things to consider when inviting someone into your freebirth space!

1.  You get the final say in who is present in your freebirth 

When it comes to planning a freebirth there is much to consider.   

And your birth space should be the one thing you protect at all costs.  

Often birthing women and families feel pressured to allow people into their birth space 

Some people, especially those with poor boundaries feel entitled to be present at a woman’s birth.  

Often only considering their own needs and wants – and imposing themselves on the birthing woman.  

I’ve seen this a lot in homebirth communities where mothers or mother in laws feel entitled to be present for their grandbabies birth.   

It isn’t a right; it is an honour and privilege, and people should only be invited if their presence is going to be needed and contribute in a positive way.  

Did you notice I changed the language to show that this is an invitation and not a right?  Remember language is powerful! 

What to consider when inviting someone into your birth space: 

  • How will they make me feel? 
  • What sort of support will they provide? 
  • Do I need or want them to be present at my birth?

 

2.  Tune into your own intuition 

I’ve spoken about this in lengths in my podcast in this episode with Dr Rachel Reed EP12| Dr Rachel Reed – Instinctive & Physiological Birth and here EP30| Undisturbed birth & hormones – Dr Sarah Buckley 

I believe if you are planning a freebirth that you need to pay a lot of attention to making it as undisturbed and instinctive as possible.  

That means you have to be really mindful about who is in your space and what role they are taking on.  

I’ve seen too many situations where people who are present in freebirths take on more responsibility and start to direct and tell free birthing women what to do in birth.  

This is the opposite of an instinctive or intuitive birth.  

I’m not saying you can’t turn outside of yourself for reassurance or advice. 

I’m simply saying that you don’t want someone in your birth who thinks they are the expert!  

To get more context into what I’m talking about check out the episodes above!  

Consider: 

  • Are you looking at them to be the expert in your birth? 
  • Have you discussed in detail what they feel their role is? 
  • Have you set the scene in letting them know your expectations and ideals around birth?

3.  Energy, energy, energy

As a highly sensitive soul, you may find that you have a strong ability to sense other people’s emotions and feelings.   

Even stronger than those who are not highly sensitive.   

During labour you will be highly attuned to pull in lots of feedback around you as your body wants to know you are birthing in a safe space.  

So, if you invite your dear old mother who had a traumatic and scary birth and is still deeply traumatised by birth you may find that isn’t a great mix.  

While she may try her hardest to support you, without some serious mindset and emotional work & birth education it will be very difficult for her to hide her fears & worries or voice them.  

Which means you will have to constantly be deflecting the negative emotions that come your way.  

It is important that the people who come into your birth space understand how to ground themselves and check their own triggers.  

The last thing you want is to have to fend off feelings of fear and not feeling safe from others.   

Or even worse – having someone who is angry or aggressive.

 

The Final Thought:

Invite calm and grounding energy into your space & be mindful of those who you give the privilege of being in attendance. 

Always check in with your gut instinct on if they are a good fit or not. If something keeps coming up, listen to that voice 

Don’t feel pressured to invite anyone who is not a good fit into your birthing space.   

You do not have to explain yourself to anyone.  You are the birthing expert.  

Let me know your thoughts by sending me an email or DM on Instagram  

Feeling like you want more support?  

I offer pregnant women who are planning to freebirth support, guidance and birth knowledge and I invite you to see if one of my offerings call out to you. You can find out more about my offerings here.  

If you are unsure if one of my services is right for you, I invite you to send me an email and let’s have a chat!  

Until next time,  

Ashley x

Ashley Winning - The Motherhood Circle
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