My husband and I were always on the fence about whether we actually wanted a third child.
In fact, during my second pregnancy, we were adamant we were done. Two was sensible. Two was manageable. Two was perfect.
Then number two arrived and I couldn’t shake that feeling of wanting to go again.
Making the Decision
People always say “you never regret a child”, but through this logic, you might as well just keep procreating – you won’t regret it!
I played over the two-child and three-child scenario debating what my head wanted and what my heart wanted.
By the time Vivi (our second daughter) was six months old, Chris and I went out to dinner and had the ‘talk’.
And that’s when we officially started trying for baby number three.
Close Together Vs Far Apart
Our first two kids were exactly two years apart. I loved the age gap and watching them develop a special relationship.
We figured if we were going back for number three, why delay it? We could get through the baby period with them all nice and close, and enjoy watching them play together as they got older.
We ended up with a 20-month age gap between Vivi and Elliot and life has certainly been interesting since bringing him home just seven short weeks ago.
Here are some tips for making this transition as easy as possible on the entire family –
Get The Right Gear
A newborn needs your attention – but so do your older kids. I have found it helpful having the right babygear around the house.
I am a big fan of babywearing, so always have a wrap or ring sling handy for that fussy period at the end of the day where I need to feed, bath and pop the older kids to be and Elliot just wants to be close and not put down.
We also have a baby bouncer up in the girls’ room, so I am able to bring him upstairs with us and pop him down while I get the girls ready for bed. It’s handy to not have to cart it up and down the stairs each day – it just lives their permanently.
Let It Go
The jump from two to three kids is a big one – at least it was for me. Elliot is the easiest newborn in the world, but suddenly I had three children to dress in the morning, three children to feed, three children to get into the car, three children attend to.
It’s busy! I learned to work out what mattered and what didn’t.
For example, if I didn’t do the washing for a day, it would pile up and stress me out, so I made sure to put a load on, but if the floor wasn’t vacuumed, it wasn’t a big deal.
I like to be organised at the best of times, but it is next level when you bring home your third baby – especially when it is the middle of winter and all the kids need to be layered and dressed each day.
My biggest tip is to get out the clothes the night before, so the morning isn’t a huge rush/panic. In fact, if I have to time (such as on a daycare day)
I look ahead at the weather and get out outfits for the next few days. It makes it so much easier to get dressed and go!
Someone is always Waiting
That’s just the way it is with three kids, and I make sure (as best I can) I give them equal attention.
If Elliot is hungry, I explain to the girls they have to wait for a moment while I feed him.
Other times, I leave Elliot to cry a little (as long as it’s more of a grizzle than a wail!), while I help one of the girls with their task.
I think it’s important that they realise they too come first at times and we take it in turns depending on the situation.
Get Older Kids Involved
It’s the easiest way to get through some of those daily tasks.
I ask Cassie to grab me nappies, I get the girls to help bath and dress Elliot, and they even feed him his bottles (under supervision for all of this).
They just love being involved in helping with Elliot and are always asking for cuddles.
Be Kind To Yourself
The newborn period is a big adjustment for all and things will get back to a new kind of normal, and you will find your feet again, but in the meantime, embrace the chaos!
More on our guest author – Felicity!
Felicity is mum to her two daughters, Cassandra (3.5) and Vivienne (21 months) and her son Elliot (2 months).
Her passion is the parenting industry and creating a community where everyone feels welcome no matter how they choose to parent. It is this passion that led to the creation of The Baby Vine.
Want to feel prepared, organised and confident during your Postpartum with your newborn baby? Book in your free complimentary call with Ashley to deep dive into some of your concerns and take some steps to set yourself up for a Peaceful Postpartum!