A Healthier, happier ME!
A blog post by Ashley Winning-
You may have seen recently a post about how I want to make a change in the health department. I’m sick and tired of being overweight… in fact, it’s actually very hard being overweight. I’m sure everything is about twice as hard as an average sized person. Of course, a part of me wants to lose weight for my ego… but more than that I want to lose the weight for my health. You see I want to live a damned old age, I’d love to live to 100… and I want to be as active as I can be. I also want to be the best mum I can be, and I know my weight holds me back from keeping up with my almost 3-year-old daughter. With our next one soon to be walking, I want to become a healthier, happier ME!
So I’ve set out on losing weight, the healthy way. Through a balanced diet of natural foods, and regular exercise. I have set myself a two-year goal to reach where I want to be… why two years? Because in two years I want to have our third baby and I’d love to experience pregnancy and birthing lighter. I’d love to put myself into the best mindset and possible position to birth our next baby vaginally. After two c- sections (which I believe to unnecessary and pushed onto me more because of my weight) I’d like to birth my next baby my way. I am calling on the universe to align me with the most supportive and loving team of people around me during that pregnancy and birth. I know the universe will deliver. That is one of my driving forces…so how will I do this?
I’ve been wanting to join my local gym for a while and haven’t. First I didn’t have an outfit to wear, then I didn’t have shoes… then my little ones got sick… now I have ear infections… you can see a pattern here can’t you? I want to join my local gym to start out in Yoga and Pilates, I seem so drawn to trying those things … and yet I am terrified of going alone, that I will be a failure… I will be unwelcomed because I’m expecting everyone to be slim, attractive and flexible as f*ck…and I will be laying down doing not much of anything but feeling terrible inside. Will those feelings stop me from trying? No… I won’t allow them to block me… They may delay me, but they won’t stop me. Honestly, I’m afraid to even go walking alone around my area, in fear of judgement. Isn’t that such a horrible thing to feel.. so much judgement towards yourself that you can’t actually go and do things that can help you. What if someone did yell something out the car at me? I’d prob cry and eat my emotions that night (or maybe I would get angry and walk faster and further) I’m sure I would eventually get over it… what if someone did look at me judgingly… Maybe it would make me more determined.
I had started eating a cleaner diet last week and I lost 1.8 kilos. Not bad for my start, and I was so excited and chuffed. Then came yesterday, and a family get together… I had a few too many drinks… and I overate food, and empty calories in drinks. I have undone all the hard work I did last week and put back on that 1.8 kilos. Will I learn? Will it always be one step forward 2 steps back? Will I let this break me down, or will I pick myself back up and get on with this fresh day?
My body wants to sleep… my blocked ears are making my life a misery atm. I’m even crying as I write this, as I start to realise just how much goes into every choice I make. The stories that go around in my head… the stories I tell myself, the stories I’ve heard from other people, things people have said to me… beating me down and willing me to fail.
I did a meal plan for the week on the weekend, which means I don’t have to think about dinner I just need to cook it. My snacks are organised. My mind is wanting to do this. So today I will take small steps in the right direction. I will seek out other like-minded mothers on the same path. I will drink plenty of water… I will hug my babies tightly and I will get through this day, the way I want to. And tomorrow I will do the same. Yes, it’s a battle to get where I want to get…but it’s a battle I’m willing to fight.
Now that I am a mother I understand the seriousness and value of my life. I need to be around for my babies. They need me. They will always need me. They will need me on their wedding day & when they give birth to their first baby… and hopefully when they become grandparent themselves. I want to be their every step of the way, and in the best physical and mental state I can be. I am always on this wonderful adventure and journey of becoming the best version of myself. The best mum I can be. So join this journey with me, and see be my cheerleader! (I would love your support and encouragement)
I’d love for you to share your challenges, your wins… how you are finding motherhood and being healthy?
So much love to you dear mama…!
P.S- this is my meal and snack plan for the week!